


Maybe one day you’ll call me, and tell me that you love me too

by Strawberriesalt



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F, Light Angst, Mentioned (G)I-DLE Ensemble, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:36:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29791329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberriesalt/pseuds/Strawberriesalt
Summary: Shuhua longs for what she could of had.
Relationships: Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	Maybe one day you’ll call me, and tell me that you love me too

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn’t the original plan at all but this story just got away from me, hope you enjoy :)

Shuhua had spent years wondering how it would feel. The reactions, what she would say, would there be tears? It was scary.

It was really really scary. 

There was no way to explain the feeling that simmered underneath her skin whenever she thought about those clandestine words bubbling out of her mouth. Because that’s what it was: an illicit secret. A secret that would never meet the time of day. 

Although as the days for Gidle to debut became closer and Soojin became busier Shuhua couldn't help but wish she had spoken sooner. It’s not like Soojin would be inaccessible once she debuts; but she’d be busy, she’d be different. No longer the Soojin who helped Shuhua with her dancing, no longer the bare faced Soojin, no longer Soojin. Plain old Soojin. No, once she debuted she’d be larger than life, an enigma, the girl Shuhua once knew would be gone, replaced by a star, an idol. 

Shuhua couldn’t help but wonder why the idea of Soojin debuting was affecting her so much, she didn’t mind with the other four girls, despite how much she enjoyed their company and how often she used to spend time with them, so why was the idea of Soojin achieving her dreams like a continuous punch to gut? Of course it was hard hearing that the other five were debuting without her but hearing that Soojin was debuting felt so much worse. It was a horrible feeling because Shuhua knew how much Soojin wanted this, how hard Soojin had worked for this and all she could care about is how she felt left out. 

Soyeon had mentioned asking the company if Shuhua could debut with them, ‘it’s six or none’ she always said but Shuhua knew how the industry worked and she knew that a trainees words, whether they were under an artist contract or an idols contract, hold no real power. Shuhua wasn’t going debut, and she’d resigned herself to the fact; it hurt nonetheless but Shuhua wasn’t going to ruin her friends Dream’s by moping around filled with self pity, any and all negative thoughts she had towards the issue were kept private and only the positive ones would dare escape her mouth. She would NOT make them feel guilty for being more talented. 

But as Shuhua lay in bed with Soojin as they laughed over a movie Shuhua couldn’t help the tears welling in her eyes, she wouldn’t be able to do this anymore. It hurt. The gentle strokes on her arms, a constant reminder of her feelings would no longer be constant. Shuhua wished Soyeon could get the company to let her debut but she would not get her hopes up, it’d be a waste. 

Shuhua smiled whilst Soojin talked about how the new dorm they’d be moving in was a lot bigger than the trainee dorm but all Shuhua could think of was Soojin’s lips, the soft way they moved, the tongue slipping out to wet them every so often, god Shuhua wanted to kiss them so bad. She wouldn’t though. That would be shooting herself in the foot, quite literally, well as literal as a metaphor could get. 

Shuhua clung onto these last moments she’d get to spend with Soojin, there were seven months left till their debut and the girls had just started recording their first album, after that they’d have to learn the dance, get fitted for their outfits, record the music video, extra language classes, Shuhua would have no time to see Soojin so these last days where Soojin was hers and only hers were sacred and someone interrupting them did not go down well with Shuhua.

Soyeon walked in with a solemn look, guilt clear in her eyes. Shuhua jumped up from the bed not even giving Soyeon a chance to speak. It was clear what would come out of her mouth and Shuhua just couldn’t bare to hear it. Of course it wasn’t Soyeon’s fault but not shooting the messenger was a lot harder than it seemed especially when this felt like your last chance at living out your dream. What was the point of staying in a foregin country and forcing yourself through struggle after struggle as you watched your only friends move on. The thought had always lingered on her mind but now Shuhua was sure. 

She would be going back to Taiwan. 

It was taxing sitting through long meetings understanding barely anything, but as Shuhua finally stood at the airport it felt worth it; tears rushed to her eyes. Shuhua hadn’t cried when she told the girls she would be going home, she hadn’t cried after every monthly evaluation where she was shamed in front of all the other trainees, she hadn’t cried when she hugged her mother goodbye, Shuhua just wasn’t a cryer. Even as she hugged the girls she’d spent so long with and trained with, she hadn’t cried; the overwhelming feeling of being home just set off the tears that Shuhua had held in for so long. It would be hard at first to adjust but Shuhua knew she had made the right choice. Her parents welcomed her back with encouraging words, warm smiles and open arms and Shuhua remembered how good it felt to be home. 

Shuhua saw the debut teasers and instantly messaged the girls with congratulations pride bubbling so hard Shuhua felt like she might burst, their dream was finally coming true! They got to achieve their dreams! Shuhua was so immensely proud despite only being able to watch on the sidelines. Their pride only increased as Shuhua watched their debut stage with tears in her eyes. The joy simmered slightly as the thought of ‘that could be me’ slithered into her brain. It had been easy to shove away those nasty thoughts of jealousy and upset; but as she sat on the phone to Yuqi hearing the girl waffle on about everything that was happening that Shuhua just couldn’t cope. Couldn’t bare to watch on the sidelines. 

They’d all promised to stay in contact and the girls really did try, it was Shuhua. Jealous little Shuhua couldn’t keep her feelings at bay. It was so hard whenever she listened to their achievements, watched them meet celebrities or had to wait days for them to reply because they were too busy that Shuhua began to message them less. Never beginning conversation and hardly ever replying. The messages died off slowly, the girls still making conversation for months after their debut until only Soojin continued messaging. It felt nice knowing Soojin still cared but Shuhua couldn’t bare to speak to any of her old friends and so she blocked her. Overpowering guilt stayed with Shuhua for weeks after but Shuhua knew if she wanted to move on with her life and move on from her crush with Soojin she’d have to forget about her. 

When Shuhua struggled to sleep, her mind filled with ‘what ifs’ and ‘could of’s’ she typed in a phone number that would forever be ingrained in her brain, wondering what would happen if she clicked call; but the courage to click never came and instead Shuhua scrolled through Instagram staring at her old friends' pictures as they traveled the world for reality shows and promoted luxurious brands. Shuhua huffed back her bitterness, reminding herself she was the one who ended it by shutting them out, but it still hurt; in fact it hurt more as Shuhua questioned why they didn’t try harder to stay in contact, why Soojin didn’t try harder… 

They used to lay in bed talking about ‘forevers’, staring up at the sky pretending to name all the types of stars. Now Shuhua lies lonely, the sky empty, no stars in sight, almost like a punishment for Shuhua’s selfishness, letting her know: she lost everything she once had because she chose to let go, not because it was taken from her, and that hurt the hardest. Hatred swam in her gut that Shuhua had become so resentful towards the girls who she promised to never pity herself over and yet Shuhua just wished she’d done so many things differently: worked harder, studied harder, lasted longer… told Soojin she loved her. 

Told Soojin she wished they could date. Hold hands. Hug. Kiss. She wished so hard that things had gone different but they hadn’t. Soojin was famous and Shuhua was not. Soojin was...well, just Soojin and Shuhua was the younger girl pining on someone that’d never love her back. Someone that probably didn’t even care about her anymore. 

Shuhua grabbed her phone, fingers slightly shaking as she began to type up a message. Her heart beat loudly in her chest as she stared down at the muddled message filled with apologies and love confessions and hit send before she could back out, she turned her phone on its back unable to watch to see if her message was read. She waited with her thoughts for a reply remembering how scared she was in the dorms to even think about telling Soojin how she felt and how long it took her to be able too. Questions scattered around in her brain as butterflies clawed around in her stomach, nervousness overpowering her thoughts. 

Would Soojin accept her apology? 

Would she feel what Shuhua feels?

Would she want to be freinds? 

Would she even want to speak to Shuhua anymore?

Would she-

A bell chimed in Shuhua’s bedroom alerting her of a text. As she picked up the phone, slowly turning it over her heart fell out of her chest, her breath fastening. She opened the message slowly seeing it was from Soojin’s number.

**The Message Read**  
We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please check the number and try your message again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
